But I think the really hard work begins AFTER that. I have just returned from a family holiday where we stayed in an apartment with my sisters and their babies. Meanwhile, a friend has just given birth to twins.
Poo, wee, tears, screaming, fretting and sleepliness featured heavily on our holiday with my four-month-old niece and seven-month-old nephew, and my friend with the twins has apparently averaged two hours’ sleep a day since their birth two weeks ago.
When I told my Dad (father of five) that we would be trying for a baby using my sister’s eggs, his was a mixed reaction. He was delighted, but cautious, saying that we seem to have moved on so well over the four years since we found out I have premature ovarian failure. He asked if we were sure we wanted to reopen the ‘trying-to-have-a-baby’ book, which has so far failed abysmally as I have no eggs left.
We have grieved deeply for the biological children we will never have, and have made plans for what to do if donor-egg IVF doesn’t work out and we decide not to adopt. These plans include more travel and work in Europe, a house extension, business plans and trips to see our friends and family around the world.
My sisters’ babies are also beginning to fill a big gap as we will see the next generation of our family growing up – easing our own desire a little.
We find we oscillate between desperately wanting a child and then not really being fussed anymore, especially as we know being a parent is no walk in the park. Does anyone else ever feel like this?