Blog about having premature ovarian failure and trying donor IVF with my sister's eggs

What would we do if my sister left her partner and ran off with my husband? This is a scenario which has been playing on my brother in law’s mind since he and my sister decided to donate her eggs to my husband and I.

He is also concerned for my sister’s future fertility plus any complications which may arise from the drugs she is taking to hype up her ovaries.

I said that if my sis runs off with my husband then I’ll just run off with him and all will be fine.

Flippancy aside; it’s just one thing in a crazy minefield of stuff we’ve had to consider throughout this egg donor process. Some stuff has been truly yucky, including how would my sister feel if her children all died and we still had our children which are biologically half hers.

Or how would she feel if we conceived a child with something biologically wrong with it and we decided to abort it, or decided to go ahead with the pregnancy?

Guiding us through this weirdness has been our fabulous counsellor. She has been absolutely amazing with her help and advice. I feel so lucky to have someone like her to talk to.

I broke down in yesterday’s session as I admitted that I felt so guilty and so grateful to my sister and her husband. It overwhelms me when I think about what they are doing for us.

We then all went to lunch in the 30 degree humidity which is Melbourne at the moment and ruminated over a glass of rose.

We have our first scan on Monday so it will be fascinating to see if the Gonal F which sis is taking is encouraging her eggs to do anything and if the oestradial I am taking will thicken up my womb lining. I will keep you posted.

I will also keep my eye on my sister and husband, especially as my brother in law returns home to New Zealand tomorrow (just kidding!).

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Comments on: "Scenario: sister runs off with husband after donor IVF" (2)

  1. It is such a minefield. I suspect the whole running off with your husband thing is unlikely, but the other scenarios about your children vs. hers (and even less dramatic things, like what if she doesn’t agree with how you disciplin your child) it is great that you are talking these things through now though.

    • Hi, yes we have tried to talk about every eventuality so we are as prepared as we can be.

      It has certainly paid to have such a fantastic and experienced counsellor leading us through this quagmire.

      Past (non-specialist infertility) counsellors have been as stumped as us about how to handle some situations so our counsellor’s advice has been incredibly valuable.

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