Tomorrow I find out if I am pregnant following our embryo transfer just under two weeks ago, using a donor egg from my sister.
We are so excited but this past week has been massively overshadowed by the events in Christchurch, New Zealand, where I lived for 8 years some time ago.
I haven’t been able to write a blog up until now as I have been consumed by a constant cold sweat of anxiety; firstly hearing the news of the quake last Tuesday, and then waiting, hoping and praying for news of loved ones, including my brother who lives there.
Thankfully he, and friends I know who live there, are safe. But many others, as you will know, are living in a nightmare of massive upheaval, enduring untold suffering and uncertainty.
The quake not only changed the face of their lives personally; it has changed the face of the city, its social fabric, infrastructure – everything that is normal.
The quake shook everything up. But in its rude disturbance, it has actually halted the city – paralysed it to a violent stop, holding everyone to ransom in their homes, devoid of food, electricity, communications, transport.
Meanwhile, we will be over the moon if tomorrow’s pregnancy test is positive. But if it isn’t, I will be thankful for the home I have, the loving husband I treasure, the job I go to, my workmates, my friends, our neighbours, my yoga studio and teachers, the train I catch, and the food I will eat for dinner tonight.
My friend Zara has just moved there and wrote a harrowing personal account, which you can read here.