- the antique gold watch my husband gave me last Christmas
- the gold sovereigns I wear as earrings which my Dad gave me when I was 13
- a ring my best friend’s mum bequeathed me when she passed away
- a bracelet my mother in law gave me last birthday
Wearing these special totems didn’t protect us from the news at our scan yesterday, that we have lost our pregnancy .
What a bummer! We couldn’t believe it. But it is a relief to know, as the on-again-off-again bleeding since my big bleed last Thursday has been teasing us, worrying us incessantly.
So we honoured the loss in the best way we know how. We bought a bottle of champagne and some lovely malt whisky on the way home and toasted the wee lost bairn.
The way we see it is that some people are conceived, carried, born and then live until they are 80. Others are conceived and live for just six weeks in utero. So our little one, even though very tiny, has joined the stars a little earlier than usual.
Support from our doctor and nurses has been ongoing and great. Also our parents and the small number of friends and family who knew we were pregnant have been wonderful. Especially our sister who was our egg donor. This must be especially poignant and sad for her too even though she is being so brave and putting us first with her love and support.
Now it’s back to work and reality tomorrow. And a holiday in Sydney over Easter in the loveliest hotel we could find.
And then in a month or so we will try again.