Blog about having premature ovarian failure and trying donor IVF with my sister's eggs

Things green and growing

These tiny nasturtium plants have randomly self germinated in my garden, while seeds I have actively sewn in other parts haven't taken. Growing babies can seem equally random

My friend Zara says that for the first time in her life she wants to buy a plant. She says she wants to see something green and growing after the greyness and destruction she experienced as a result of Christchurch’s earthquake.

Similarly, I am taking especial interest in little seedlings in our garden.  Some seeds I have actively dropped have not taken. But elsewhere, little plants have sprung up from seeds which have accidentally self sewn. Some have been trampled by our dog Daisy during her loo stops but others have thrived.

I think this is the same as trying for a baby. Sometimes you try and try with all types of deliberate methods. But it doesn’t take, or if it does, the growing environment isn’t quite right so the embryo dies. Other times these deliberate methods work and a baby grows from a tiny seed and all is well. Other times you can find yourself accidentally pregnant without even trying –  but the environment is just right so everything grows well.

I really like making this comparison. It makes conceiving and keeping a pregnancy seem more possible.  Each conception and pregnancy is unique. Sometimes they take and sometimes they don’t. I find the randomness of this comforting as it means the next time I try for a baby, it could all go well.

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