I was listening to Reproductive Biologist Prof Roger Short on the radio the other day, and he said something which struck me as very poignant.
He said there is a definition that when a woman bleeds, it is seen as the womb weeping for its lost love. How achingly sweet is that?
I think this is very apt for every one of us who has bled after hoping they were pregnant. The pain and aching of the bleeding hurts in your womb as well as in your heart. It is also fits very well for those of us who have miscarried. The bleeding and discomfort is often much more, signifying the weight of this loss.
And what about those lucky enough to have a baby? Some mothers have told me they felt bereft when they were no longer pregnant after their child had been born. The bleeding then is long and copious.
Now I am pregnant, I really hope that the next time I bleed will be after I have my baby at full term. I have a wee while to wait as I am only five-and-a-half weeks pregnant. But this morning I woke up and there was a tiny amount of spotting. It’s only very faint and a light brown colour (I think bright red is considered more problematic). But eeeek!! this is not what I wanted to see. It has stopped now so I’m hoping that will be all.
Nevertheless, my doctor has asked me to go in for a blood test tomorrow to see what’s happening. Oh gawd – this is going to be knuckle gnawing stuff. There is no way I’m going to be able to take that results phone call at work tomorrow in case it shows my pregnancy is on the skids. Therefore I’m going to have to ask my lovely husband if he would mind taking the message again and then letting me know the results after work tomorrow night.