Blog about having premature ovarian failure and trying donor IVF with my sister's eggs

My husband and I listened, gob smacked, to the quick whoosh, whoosh  sound. It was the sound of our little fetus’ heart at its six week scan this morning. We could see it on the screen too, a rapid tiny flickering pulse.

I never expected to experience this. A year ago we were resigned to being childless. We were getting ready to celebrate our lives in a different way sans kids. We were going to sell the house, hit the road and head to Europe to work and live for a few years.

But with my sister’s help we are now suddenly looking like we will be parents (providing our pregnancy continues without a hitch – touch wood!).

It has taken us five years to get this far. It still doesn’t seem true.

So now I am in a dilemma about what to write about.  In the past I have stopped reading blogs by some (but not all) women who have conceived. Photos of pregnant bumps and effusive ramblings about the joy of being pregnant struck me to my hurting, infertile core. Their success highlighted my desolation.

I want to keep documenting my journey as a way to help others who may read my blog and for the self counselling it gives me. But I intend to write my blog without shoving my pregnancy down anyone’s throat. My own difficult journey and anyone reading this who is having a tough time will always be at the forefront of my mind.

Advertisements

Comments on: "Be still my beating heart" (5)

  1. Fantastic news.

    My advice, keep writing what you want. If people unsubscribe that is their decision, but equally you might find new reader who are in a similar situation. I tend to find it harder to comment on blogs written by pregnant women. Not because I get upset, but simply because I can’t give my perspective on what they are experiencing. i tend, therefore to get quieter and quieter until I’ve seen them successfully give birth and, at that point slip quietly away!

    • Well for the time being, I hope you continue to read my blog as I would love to keep getting your take on things. I’ll certainly be reading yours – I hope to see you reporting your pregnancy sometime!

  2. I think everyone (infertiles) feels guilty when they finally get pregnant. I know I did. I felt horrible and excited at the same time. But you don’t just suddenly become “fertile.” Even if you get and stay pregnant and go home with your bundle of joy you will always identify more with the rest of us who were here on this journey with you.

    Congratulations! Allow yourself to be happy.

  3. […] (Source: barrenlazza.wordpress.com) […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: