My husband and I listened, gob smacked, to the quick whoosh, whoosh sound. It was the sound of our little fetus’ heart at its six week scan this morning. We could see it on the screen too, a rapid tiny flickering pulse.
I never expected to experience this. A year ago we were resigned to being childless. We were getting ready to celebrate our lives in a different way sans kids. We were going to sell the house, hit the road and head to Europe to work and live for a few years.
But with my sister’s help we are now suddenly looking like we will be parents (providing our pregnancy continues without a hitch – touch wood!).
It has taken us five years to get this far. It still doesn’t seem true.
So now I am in a dilemma about what to write about. In the past I have stopped reading blogs by some (but not all) women who have conceived. Photos of pregnant bumps and effusive ramblings about the joy of being pregnant struck me to my hurting, infertile core. Their success highlighted my desolation.
I want to keep documenting my journey as a way to help others who may read my blog and for the self counselling it gives me. But I intend to write my blog without shoving my pregnancy down anyone’s throat. My own difficult journey and anyone reading this who is having a tough time will always be at the forefront of my mind.