Waiting to conceive a baby can be unbearably long, lonely and painful but things can turn around so quickly.
In just a year, we have undergone donor IVF with my wonderful sister from New Zealand; conceived, miscarried, had a negative transfer, conceived again and are now awaiting the arrival of our first baby in five days’ time.
Conception and pregnancy followed six years of grief, uncertainty and personal growth, all of which began with my diagnosis of premature ovarian failure at 35.
I grieved then for my young womanhood (going into premature menopause made me feel like an unattractive old crone), my periods (truly!), the children we would never have; our first IVF cycle that yielded zilch eggs and for the life we’d had before my diagnosis.
More recently, we grieved for the little baby we lost last year to miscarriage – it felt like our hearts had been ripped out.
But all the grieving and uncertainty helped us to become more thoughtful, empathetic and kind. It made us rethink what being a beautiful, sexy woman or man really means (it doesn’t mean you have to be fertile) and what life would be like childfree (books called Silent Sorority and Sweet Grapes were particularly helpful).
So what a journey it’s been! It has been truly remarkable for which we are very thankful.
If it can happen for us, it can happen for others too. I can’t wait to read about other people’s success stories – I know they are out there, or about to begin.