Blog about having premature ovarian failure and trying donor IVF with my sister's eggs

This morning I fed my daughter her last meal of breast milk which I expressed yesterday.

This is because today I began a new antidepressant called Pristiq which is too potent to continue breastfeeding on.

I feel really sad as I hoped to breastfeed her for as long as possible. But the paediatrician assures me that formula is fine and apparently the only slightly negative thing that has been proven is that cognitive development can be a tiny bit slower with formula-fed babes.

I have to keep expressing for a few days to avoid getting mastitis and because it will have traces of the drug in it, it cannot be used at all.

But as one of the nurses says: “Look in the cot and see what you’ve got” – which is a lovely little baby.

Pristiq will hopefully suit me better than the drug I tried last week, which was Zoloft – a breastfeeding-friendly medication. Zoloft made me feel sleepy, gave me headaches, a tight jaw and blurry vision, which wasn’t great. After four days my doctor took me off it saying it wasn’t suited to me.

Fingers crossed that giving up breastfeeding will be worth it and that this medication will work.

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Comments on: "Look in the cot and see what you’ve got" (4)

  1. I was on the same medication for my depresion my GP prescribed it for me after my misscarrige and my ovarian failure, so yes I have walked in your shoes. I resently came off the medication as we are about to take our next step on this long journey but, I found it to be very good. Over the years I have been on a few diferent types of anti depresants some were good others were just plain zombie meds.
    As for formula fed babies, they are just as healthy as breast fed. Also you will see how much she has at every feed and it is so much easier to get daddy to make up a bottle and feed her. It means dad can realy be a lot more involved with you when it comes to your little princess. You have fed her the most important breast milk during these first weeks and that is brilliant. I know when I had to stop breast feeding my son, I was realy upset, I felt the guilt, I felt the failure but, I stoped have sore boobs and I could see how much he was getting and that was a help, a big help as it was one less thing I worried about. I am sure you are well on the road to recovery now. One thing a doctor once told me many years ago and I have foud it to be one of the most important things I have ever been told, I have shared this with others like us and they have found it to be a great help also. He told me, ” think of depression like a car that needs leaded petrol and has had unleaded put in, it wont run without the extra lead, so, the pills are the lead to make you run properly. Depresion is a chemical imbalance in the brain, your lead is low so we are topping it up” It made sense and it helped me, I hope it helps you too. Cant wait to read the post” I am going home”

    • thanks Heather – it’s great to hear you have experienced depression and come through it and got better. It’s hard to believe it will happen when you’re in the thick of it. Although I’m sorry to hear you have been through it and all the horrible feelings that go along with it!

      I really like your analogy of the leaded/unleaded petrol – it makes sense.

  2. Heather you certainly have a way with words! Beautifully written.

    I have to say as a mother of 3 bottle fed little’uns, l came to the conclusion that they were far more nourished by the love and care of a healthy mother who was physically and mentally in a good place…. than little amount of milk l was able to tortuously give them.

    I can’t believe they are giving you negative stats about cognitive development. My 3 are all sparky and bright. I’m telling you, in a room full of kindergarten kids you cannot pick which ones were breast or bottle.

    You’re doing such a great job Laura

    • Hi Sall
      My lactation consultant said to me that none of our kids will thank us when they’re 21 for breastfeeding us – they’ll just thank us for hopefully being good mums and for giving them lots of love and support!
      I’m sure your three kids are sparky and bright having such a lovely mum like you xxx

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