Blog about having premature ovarian failure and trying donor IVF with my sister's eggs

Archive for the ‘guilt’ Category

Guilt and postnatal depression

Since having our little girl, I feel guilty about just about everything.

I feel guilty to be feeling so down when I have such a beautiful little girl to hold and cherish – finally after all these years. Having tried for so long, I know I am one of the lucky ones to have finally conceived and got through a pregnancy to have our daughter so how selfish is it that I now feel like this?

I also feel guilty that I am splitting up my family and making this so tough on my husband, who goes to work, comes to visit, feeds the baby, then drives home, walks the dog and makes his own dinner and lunch for the next day before he falls into bed and begins the whole cycle again the next day of spending half his life in the car with no respite and support for himself.

I also feel guilty that I am in hospital getting all this help when there are other mums and dads out there who need the help just as much as me.

I feel guilty for making my family and friends worry about me being in hospital in a far away country where they can’t visit me.

Guilt is a horrible feeling and dwelling on these things just makes me feel worse. But I know other mums with postnatal depression feel the same and that it is just the depression making us feel like this. When I am better the guilt will be gone and I’ll be able to feel grateful rather than guilty.

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