Blog about having premature ovarian failure and trying donor IVF with my sister's eggs

Posts tagged ‘doubts’

Babies: hard work if you can get it

As we infertiles know, having babies is hard work. We jump through physical, emotional and financial hoops to conceive and have our bubs.

But I think the really hard work begins AFTER that. I have just returned from a family holiday where we stayed in an apartment with my sisters and their babies. Meanwhile, a friend has just given birth to twins.

Poo, wee, tears, screaming, fretting and sleepliness featured heavily on our holiday with my four-month-old niece and seven-month-old nephew,  and my friend with the twins has apparently averaged two hours’ sleep a day since their birth two weeks ago.

When I told my Dad (father of five) that we would be trying for a baby using my sister’s eggs, his was a mixed reaction. He was delighted,  but cautious, saying that we seem to have moved on so well over the four years since we found out I have premature ovarian failure. He asked if we were sure we wanted to reopen the ‘trying-to-have-a-baby’ book, which has so far failed abysmally as I have no eggs left.

We have grieved deeply for the biological children we will never have, and have made plans for what to do if donor-egg IVF doesn’t work out and we decide not to adopt.  These plans include more travel and work in Europe, a house extension, business plans and trips to see our friends and family around the world.

My sisters’ babies are also beginning to fill a big gap as we will see the next generation of our family growing up – easing our own desire a little.

We find we oscillate between desperately wanting a child and then not really being fussed anymore, especially as we know being a parent is no walk in the park.  Does anyone else ever feel like this?