Our little water child

Our beautiful little mizuko kuyo or 'water child' is a tangible representation of our lost embryo

We received our little mizuko kuyo in the post last week. It has a beautiful face, a lovely shaped head and a serene demeanour.

Mizuko kuyo means ‘water child’ in Japanese which I think is very apt, given our little embryo would have been in fluid inside me before I lost the pregnancy.

Yesterday we held a little ceremony with the mizuko kuyo to remember our embryo, following the Japanese custom. As we walked out to our garden, I cradled its head in my hand and I imagined what it would have been like to have done the same to our baby, had it been born.

My husband wrote a little message on card from us both and folded it up underneath its base. I put an old bracelet of mine around its neck and encircled the ground around it with an old neclace.

Goodness knows if it was a wee boy or girl we lost but we figured that if it was a boy it would probably wouldn’t have minded the jewellery, given that I love adorning myself and my husband is quite in touch with his feminine side (I should add here so as not to smite his masculinity, that he also loves football, cycling and many other manly things!)

We then laid some flowers around it in a new rock garden which my sister and I built while she was here donating her eggs to me. We thought that was very fitting. The flowers nestle around the little figure and give it the grace and reverence of a tiny little buddha.

This little figure gives us something concrete by which to remember our little lost offspring. It may have only been tiny but it was a live being and part of us both.