Rubbish at conceiving but great at pregnancy – dispelling my concerns

Having no eggs with which to conceive a child made me doubt my body and ability to carry a baby (I thought that perhaps I’m not meant to have a baby if my eggs are used up?) – but this pregnancy has changed all that.

My pregnancy has been fabulous with no afflictions (yet). My skin has been clear, my back straight and strong, my abdominal muscles elastic and still holding up without the need for support pants, the skin on my belly is stretch-mark-free and I have no varicose veins.

Even being long in the tooth for a first time mother (I’m 42) has not caused me to crumble under the physical strain of pregnancy.

The only complication is that my baby is lying sideways and showing no inclination to move its head down like all good, compliant babies should (!) but as I’m having a c-section, it doesn’t matter.

This makes me feel a little smug when I hear about much younger and more fertile women struggling with pregnancy aches and pains. I know – it sounds like a bad case of schadenfreude but I’m so pleased that FINALLY,  I can do something well in the reproductive area!

But it’s also good news for all those other infertiles out there who may have the same worries about pregnancy, should they conceive. Just because you may not have good eggs, or for whatever other reason may find trouble conceiving – it doesn’t mean you’ll have a troubled pregnancy – isn’t that great news?

Sixteen days to go

Walking our dog Daisy - I'm big but still mobile

“Oh my God – you look great! You must be due very soon!,” said my hairdresser yesterday. And she’d be right as there are only 16 days until our baby arrives by c-section – unless he/she decides to come early.

At 36 weeks, the only ailment I have is really sore feet – my heels are swollen, hot and bruised. When I get up every morning I hobble around on them like how I imagine the little mermaid walked when she traded in her tongue for feet.

I’ve been so lucky this pregnancy – many women suffer from bad backs, bad skin, varicose veins (in your bum and your legs!), stretch marks and other delights. But I’ve just got bigger and bigger – and I haven’t even started waddling yet. It’s sounds like I’m gloating but it’s just so nice to be able to do being pregnant well – especially when it was so hard for us to fall pregnant.

But much more exciting is feeling and seeing our baby move in my belly. It literally looks like my stomach is having a mini earthquake when the babe gets going – my belly rolls, dips and jerks. The thought that there is a little being in there moving spontaneously around is just amazing.

I wish everyone had the chance to feel these sensations – it is such a privilege.

Are we there yet? On the home straight to test

This Friday we find out if we are pregnant following our last embryo transfer.

Since then, I have had two rounds of acupuncture, been to the osteopath to get my back fixed, ditched the nightly whiskys (but not the chocolate) and have being doing my ashtanga yoga with no vinyasas (jump throughs and jump backs), and no ujjayi breath. This is because both, especially the breathing, work to heat up the body like an internal pressure cooker, which is NOT what we want for our little embryo. We don’t want to pressure cook it – instead we want it to settle into my womb lining, lie back and have a nice long sleep for while fattening up into a healthy wee baby.

I’ve been trying not to think about it, but have noticed some subtle changes to my body, just like I felt the first (and only) time I was pregnant. For instance, my left boob is a little more tender than usual and I am feeling a bit sick – a bit like I am hungover. I also have a slight feeling you get if you stop yourself weeing mid stream. Last time I had a tweaking feeling but this time it is a ‘mid stream’ feeling.

It’s no doubt way too early to be feeling any symptoms but I can’t help zoning in on them, hoping, really hoping that it has worked this time.